The last post was about the missed opportunities for Friends to support Indigenous leadership, and the opportunities to build relationships with some of the people involved with the Great Plains Action Society (GPAS) and the Decolonial Repair Network (DRN). After eight years of following a leading to focus on decolonial repair, I feel a profound sense of discouragement regarding our collective engagement with this work.
Disclaimer
It is paradoxical that I have deep, life-long ties to my Quaker meeting and community. There are so many things about the meeting’s past and current work that I admire and support completely. So, I find it ironic that I am criticizing such a faithful community. But this is a fundamental part of a Quaker community, to continue to be open to what the Spirit leads us to do. Often this causes conflicts between those who are led in a new direction and those who are not, or not, yet. Not yet, meaning they may move in that new direction after further discussion and prayer. Or, perhaps they never will support the new direction.
These tensions exist in all Quaker and other religious communities. Some are more impactful than others. Sometimes there is active work on resolving conflicts. Other times an impasse occurs.
I often have to remind myself of how long I have been led to focus on Indigenous matters. Quakers who haven’t been led to focus on this could not possibly know all that I’ve learned along the way.
My challenge now is to discern how to engage other Quakers in this work. Bear Creek meeting uses the Advices and Queries to stimulate reflection on matters important to the meeting. Our Yearly Meeting (Iowa Yearly Meeting Conservative) includes a set of twelve advices and queries, an example of which is the following about Harmony within the Meeting. The Advice is an introduction to the topic, and the queries are questions to stimulate discussion. These discussions are held in a worshipful manner. Everyone is welcome to contribute to the discussion.
There are twelve sets of advices and queries. At Bear Creek meeting we consider one set of advices and queries each month. This is a link to the Advices and Queries: https://www.iymc.org/announcements-events-reports/advices-and-queries-2/
Queries
4. HARMONY WITHIN THE MEETING
“This is my commandment: Love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:1
ADVICE
It is sometimes difficult to remember that love is a gift of the Divine Spirit and not simply a human emotion. As imperfect human beings, it is not always possible for us to feel loving toward one another, but by opening ourselves to the Light Within, we can receive and give love beyond our human abilities.
Relationships among meeting members take time to evolve. Sometimes misunderstandings develop. When differences arise, they should not be ignored for the sake of superficial unity. We believe disagreements which might divide or disrupt a meeting can be resolved through human effort and divine grace, and may result in a stronger and more creative meeting. True harmony depends upon each persons deep respect of and faithful attention to the Divine Spirit within us all. We endeavor to practice humility, attempting to understand positions of others and being aware of the possibility that we may be mistaken.
It is the responsibility of the Ministry and Oversight Committee to be sensitive to needs which may arise. Others in the meeting may be equally concerned, and because of greater understanding in certain cases, be able to give counsel. In reconciliation of differences, a position not previously considered may prove mutually beneficial. At times it may be necessary to confront individuals whose behavior is disruptive. A clearness committee or professional help may be suggested in some situations. We must always remember the power of holding one another in the Light, and the healing that comes from forgiving ourselves as well as others.
QUERY
- What can we do to deepen our relationships with one another? How does gender affect the way we relate to each other?
- How does our meeting balance the needs for honesty and kindness? What topics do we avoid for the sake of “unity”?
- When in conflict with others, do we cultivate a forgiving spirit? Do we look to that of God in ourselves and seek to address that of God in those with whom we disagree?
Conflict Resolution for Holy Beings
Recognize whose lands these are on which we stand.
Ask the deer, turtle, and the crane.
Make sure the spirits of these lands are respected and treated with goodwill.
The land is a being who remembers everything.
You will have to answer to your children, and their children, and theirs—
The red shimmer of remembering will compel you up the night to walk the perimeter of truth for understanding.
As I brushed my hair over the hotel sink to get ready I heard:
By listening we will understand who we are in this holy realm of words.
Do not parade, pleased with yourself.
You must speak in the language of justice.
